Helicopter parenting

Helicopter parenting describes a parenting style where the parent pays excessive attention to everything their child does. Why helicopter? It is called helicopter parenting since, like a helicopter, the parent hovers over their children monitoring every move.

Do you remember the parenting style our parents/guardians used on you when you were growing up? Modern parents have the tenacity to care too much for their children, what they do, and whom they play with, and fail to discipline their children for their mistakes. Some parents make their children believe that failing is a mistake. You control your child too much to the extent their self-confidence is reduced, and they cannot make decisions on their own. Remember, childhood development determines what one becomes as an adult.

The demand for young people to do well, especially due to low job security and high competition in the job market, may cause a parent to micromanage their children. Your child needs love and your time to ensure that they communicate and tell you everything about themselves. Parental involvement is core to the child’s proper development but should be appropriate.

I remember growing up, and after morning chores, we would visit my uncle’s home and join other kids to play till late afternoon. Sometimes forgetting your evening chores called for an evening beating.

The fact that our parents allowed us to learn from our mistakes, for example, failing to do what we were asked to do, called for beating. It only proved that our parents cared and wanted us to be responsible adults. Although I don’t advocate for the beatings we received as children, especially caning and hitting, it is our duty as parents to discipline our kids for misbehavior and let them learn from their mistakes.

Moreover, if you want a sports champion in your house, you have to allow your kid to go to the field and play with others to gain the skills. Being overly protective only denies your child the desire to experiment with new things.

Yes, many negative things are happening in our society, and we feel the urge to protect and keep our kids to ourselves. But allowing your child to engage in meaningful activities and protecting them from harmful ones will help raise good kids.

Every parent’s dream is for their children to succeed academically, but then you don’t have to control your child’s tutors on what to do. It is good to consult and talk about their performance but avoid controlling the tutors since they are trained to teach your kids.

Signs you are a helicopter parent.

• When your child has a problem with another child, you call the other parent to advocate for your child and work it out for them.
• You know more about your child’s schoolwork than they do. You micromanage their homework time, sometimes doing it for them.
• You tell their sports coaches what to do during sports or any physical activity.
• You stay for play dates or drop-offs even when your child asks you to leave. You can only let them walk a block away on their own.
• Give your child whatever they want, not to hurt their feelings.
• You clean their room without asking them to chip in
• Over praising
• Involving your child in too many schedules, so they don’t miss anything.
• You don’t give room for mistakes and always worry when they encounter challenges. You find ways to fix things for them to avoid being hurt.
• You are overly concerned with their safety, always reminding them to be careful and not allow them to take reasonable risks.

Helicopter parenting saves children from failing or defeat, which is some of the best lessons in life. As a parent, allow your child to endure the natural consequences of making bad decisions. Keeping them away from learning from their mistakes will cause mature inexperienced, and incapable humans. 

These children are robbed of their power and autonomy. Parents make all decisions for them, denying them the to develop problem-solving and decision-making skills. The child grows up believing that the parent cannot trust them to make decisions. This leads to low self-esteem, and children depends on guidelines and what their parent says.

From Good Intentions to Poor Outcomes

Research shows that children with overly protective parents are unable to deal with the challenging demands of growing up. Toddlers may find it difficult to navigate the school environment once enrolled.

Children depend on their caregivers to understand their emotions. It would be best if you let your child know that they can manage a situation only through experiencing life itself. Children need to learn to manage emotions and behavior at a young age. Overcontrolling parents deny their children the opportunity to learn this.

According to research, overcontrolling parenting at age two is associated with poor emotions and behavioral regulation at age 5. Additionally, helicopter parenting can stunt the cognitive development of the child.

Children of helicopter parents develop anxiety disorders and sometimes serious mental health issues. This is explained by the violation of a child’s right of freedom. Imagine the impact it has on teenagers!!