Parenting styles refer to the way in which parents raise their children. Different aspects are involved in raising a child like attentiveness to rules, discipline styles, expectations of the parent from the child, and performance demands.
The quality of parenting is more important than the quantity of time spent with the child. Parenting styles are ways in which parents respond to their children. While parenting practices are specific behaviors, parenting styles are wider patterns of parenting practices.
Children go through different milestones and phases; therefore, parents should create a parenting style that will cater to all the phases and not affect the child’s development of their personalities. Research in parenting has proven that children who are nurtured properly, with love, firm control, and independence, more often end up with high levels of competence. This article explores the 4 main parenting styles with their effect on a child’s psychological development.
Parenting Styles of Diana Baumrind
3 parenting styles were developed by a psychologist, Diana Baumrind, and the Stanford Researchers later added one. The 3 parenting styles of Diana Baumrind are authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. Neglectful parenting style was developed later on.
4 Types of Parenting Styles
Every parent wants to raise confident and intelligent kids. But where do we begin? There are 4 parenting styles; authoritative, uninvolved, authoritarian, and permissive parenting style. Depending on the content or the situation, you may find yourself using one or more parenting styles.
Each parenting style takes a different approach to raise a child. Some parents are lenient while others are strict, some are vigilant while others are not available for the child. Have you ever questioned what type of parent you are? Let’s see.
Authoritarian Parenting Style
The focus of these parents is obedience. When a child asks why the parent said something the answer is “Because I said so”. These parents make rules and emphasize the consequences and do not engage children in decision-making or problem-solving. Additionally, authoritarian parents often punish their kids instead of disciplining them. Children in these environments follow rules at a price.
Traits
· Set strict rules
· Punish the child when rules are not followed
· One-way communication only; which is parent to child.
· Expect children to excel in academics, and sports and lack patience with the child.
· Lack of explanation behind a certain rule
· They are in complete control of the child’s moves
· Low levels of support and warmth and are not responsive to their kids.
Authoritarian parenting has its own advantage since it minimizes the chances of the child engaging in risky behaviors; the child knows the consequences of their actions. However, these children become more aggressive and anxious. They withdraw from social connections. These children can also become rebellious and develop an insecure attachment.
Children of authoritarian parents are at risk of;
· Having low self-esteem, insecurities, and low confidence
· Develop anxiety and other mental-related disorders.
· Negative results in academic success
· Poor social skills
· Becoming defiant and anxious
· Withdrawing or disconnecting from social relationships
· Development of rebellious behaviors
Although children need rules and boundaries set, authoritarian parents fail in giving their children the warmth and support needed. Research has attributed authoritarian parenting style to negative behavioral outcomes. The difference between authoritarian parents and authoritative parents is between the exercise of power.
Authoritative Parenting Style
Authoritative parents are supportive, and responsive and nurture their children yet set rules for them. An authoritative parent explains why certain rules are set and listens to their kid’s perspectives. Authoritative parenting involves showing respect for children as who they are, additionally, they offer emotional support and expect maturity. Allowing your children to make and correct mistakes is an aspect of authoritative parenting.
Examples of authoritative parenting include; ‘ I take my child’s feelings into consideration, I talk to my children on the expectations I have from them, I set rules and give reasons why they should be followed’. The authoritative parenting style is common among educated parents and is linked to responsible and disciplined kids.
Traits of authoritative parenting
· Take the child’s feelings into consideration
· Help the child when they are scared
· Encourage the child to speak about their feelings
· Explain why certain rules have been set
· They discipline their children right away
Children of authoritative parents are more likely to;
· Become independent, self-reliant, and socially acceptable
· Be well-behaved and academically successful
· Talk about something upsetting or stressing them
· Less likely to engage in antisocial behavior like drug abuse
Effects of authoritative parenting
Having at least one authoritative parent is enough. The authoritative parenting style is beneficial, especially in building a secure attachment with a child. Also, authoritative parenting is beneficial in helping the child learn how to deal with conflicts. This is a major aspect of adulthood. However, it is good to note that parenting is an unpredictable science, sometimes the authoritative parenting style may not work.
My advice when it comes to parenting styles is always naturing your children with love and supporting them emotionally to fill their emotional needs. Avoid harsh punishment but don’t forget to discipline your child.
Permissive Parenting Style
Permissive parents do not set limits for their children and want the child to express her true nature. These parents are the kind of “I never say no to my child” or “my child decides what they want”. Permissive parents are supportive and give a loving environment. They will put the child’s emotional needs first. The parent struggles in saying no since they want to see their kids happy.
Traits
· Value the emotional needs of the child
· Parent-child relationship is safe and secure
· Set no rules
· No guidance on unacceptable and acceptable behavior
· They go with the child’s way
A child raised by a permissive parent is;
· Strongly attached to their parents
· Express behavior of self-centeredness
· May develop behavioral problems since no discipline is reinforced
· Low self-esteem and low self-reliance due to dependence on parent
· Rebellious due to lack of set rules
A permissive parent is usually sympathetic to the child and believes the child will make the right decision. However, children need guidance, and setting rules is mandatory in raising disciplined kids.
Uninvolved Parenting Style
Uninvolved parents do not set rules and also do not support their children. Also called neglectful, uninvolved parents only provide basic needs but do not provide emotional support and love to their children. The parent will often ignore and is uninterested in the child’s social life.
Traits
· Do not set rules or expectations
· Parent-child relationship is at stake
· Do not cater to the emotional needs of the child
· Unavailable and unresponsive
Impacts on the child include;
· Develop low self-esteem
· Seek validation from others
· Poor mental health
· Negative behavior since no rules are set
Uninvolved parenting is not always intentional. Some parents may have to work long hours to provide and have limited time with their children. They may also not understand their parenting role in children’s life. Furthermore, if they experience neglectful parenting in their childhood, they may pass it on to their kids.
What is the best parenting style for any parent?
Well, from the description of each parenting style above, we can conclude that an authoritative parenting style is the most effective. Studies have shown that children raised by authoritative parents are confident and achieve academic success, they have better problem-solving skills and interact with others better. It is important to note that children undergo various development stages and parenting styles are prone to adjust.
Note that authoritative parenting will work best when the whole environment attunes to it. Schools should use the authoritative approach to discipline children. Authoritative parenting is also different from one household to another. As an authoritative parent, you should be able to lead your child by example, this includes making the right decisions.
Wrap Up
Generally, most parents have a parenting style attributed to their own experience. Parenting can be hard, there is no manual attributing to the best parenting styles. To develop the best parenting style, it is advisable to talk to a parenting therapist who will guide you on healthy parenting behaviors. You can participate in parenting classes and groups to learn more about what is appropriate for your child. Also, there are multiple books and podcasts talking about parenting where you can gain helpful information.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the 3 parenting styles of Diana Baumrind?
The three parenting styles of Diana Baumrind are authoritarian, authoritative and permissive.