It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when trying to balance your child’s needs with the demands of daily life. The idea of ‘gentle parenting’ has gained popularity recently as a way to raise well-adjusted, empathetic children without resorting to harsh discipline methods. But how can parents practice gentle parenting without losing discipline altogether? Below are some tips on incorporating discipline as you stick to gentle parenting.
Tips on Practising Gentle Parenting with Discipline
1. Make use of Natural Consequences
Instead of punishing your child for misbehaviour, try using natural consequences. For example, if your child refuses to wear a jacket on a cold day, they will likely feel uncomfortable and learn from the experience. Natural consequences are a gentler way to teach your child about cause and effect and help them understand the consequences of their actions.
2. Empathize with your Child
Empathy is a key component of gentle parenting. When your child is upset or frustrated, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their perspective. Validate their feelings and tell them you understand why they are upset. This will help your child feel heard and valued and strengthen your bond.
3. Use Positive Reinforcement
Instead of punishing your child for misbehaving, focus on positive reinforcement for good behaviour. This can be as simple as praising your child for doing something kind or helpful or rewarding them with a small treat for completing a task. Focusing on the positive build your child’s self-esteem and reinforces good behaviour.
4. Avoid violent Communication
Gentle parenting emphasizes the use of non-violent communication. This means avoiding yelling, shaming, or using physical punishment as a form of discipline. Instead, try to communicate with your child in a calm, respectful tone. Use “I” statements instead of “you” to express your feelings, and encourage your child to do the same. This will help to build trust and promote healthy communication between you and your child.
5. Set clear rules and boundaries
One common misconception about gentle parenting is that it is permissive and lacks structure. Gentle parenting is about setting clear boundaries and expectations for your child, while still treating them with empathy and respect. When setting boundaries, involving your child in the process is essential. Explain why the rules are in place and the consequences if they are not followed. This will help your child understand the reasoning behind the rules and make them more likely to comply.
6. Practice Self-care
Gentle parenting can be emotionally demanding, so taking care of yourself is essential. Make time for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or reading. Take breaks when needed, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when overwhelmed. You’ll be better equipped to practice gentle parenting with your child by taking care of yourself.
What Research Says about Gentle Parenting
Gentle parenting is a philosophical approach to parenting. It is often associated with an authoritative parenting style that prioritizes the connection between parents and their children. Research has proven that parents who use an authoritative parenting style raise kids with healthy self-esteem, are confident and can regulate their emotions. Children raised by authoritative parents are less likely to have anxiety and are less likely to indulge in substance abuse.
Gentle Parenting Does Not Mean No Discipline.
Often, discipline is perceived negatively. However, discipline is about teaching children how to regulate emotions, behave or communicate. If you want to raise emotionally intelligent, calm and considerate kids, you must incorporate discipline.
Discipline in gentle parenting focuses on teaching. In gentle parenting, there is saying no, there is setting boundaries and there is stopping bad behaviors. In her book, The Gentle Discipline Book, Sarah Ockwell says discipline is crucial in raising successful kids. Sarah suggests some tips on enforcing discipline in gentle parenting, focusing on connection and positivity rather than negative reinforcement. Also, as a gentle parent, you should break the cycle of blaming and shaming.
You may often wonder how to practice gentle parenting if you were raised with harsh discipline. Although it is a challenge trying to break the cycle of harsh discipline, it is possible. There are many books, parenting therapists and other parents already practising gentle parenting whom you can consult. Also, be patient with yourself as you learn gentle parenting techniques.
Should you use Gentle Parenting Approach?
Even when you ask any parent who has raised successful kids on how they did it, no one has a figured-out answer. Gentle parenting teaches important virtues like empathy, mutual respect and positive communication- what society needs.
Gentle parenting recognizes that parenting is not an easy task, and it is okay to make mistakes. It encourages parents to be patient with themselves and their children while working towards a healthy and positive relationship. Using a gentle parenting approach can benefit both the child and the parent.
Keep in mind that what works for one family may not work for the other, what works for one child may not work for the other. Therefore, it is essential to first understand your space, your child and yourself before settling for any parenting style. Furthermore, one parenting style may be difficult to follow, you will often find yourself mixing them up. Don’t forget to let your child feel your love and support and teach them to be responsible in life.
Wrap Up
Gentle parenting is an approach to raising children that emphasizes respect, empathy, and positive communication. It is a parenting style that values the emotional and mental well-being of both the parent and the child. By incorporating gentle parenting techniques into your parenting style, you can build a strong, healthy relationship with your child while still setting clear boundaries and expectations. Remember to focus on positive reinforcement, non-violent communication, empathize with your child, use natural consequences, and practice self-care. You can become a gentle parent with patience and practice without losing discipline.