17 Signs of Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs when one parent manipulates a child to turn them against the other parent, often during or after separation or divorce.

Parental alienation is a complex and harmful dynamic in which one parent intentionally manipulates a child to reject or distance themselves from the other parent, often without a valid reason.

This psychological manipulation typically occurs during or after a contentious separation or divorce and can have long-lasting emotional consequences for both the child and the targeted parent.

Unlike estrangement, where a child’s rejection of a parent may be due to genuine reasons such as abuse or neglect, parental alienation is driven by one parent’s influence rather than the child’s direct experiences.

It involves deliberate actions like badmouthing the other parent, limiting contact, or creating an environment of loyalty conflicts to erode the bond between the child and the alienated parent.

Parental Alienation; What Lawyers Do

How Parental Alienation Manifests

During separation or divorce, emotions often run high, and some parents may unintentionally—or deliberately—engage in behaviors that alienate the other parent. Examples include:

• Restricting Communication- Preventing calls, texts, or visits between the child and the other parent.
• False Allegations- Making exaggerated or false claims to turn the child against the targeted parent.
• Emotional Manipulation- Rewarding the child for rejecting or criticizing the other parent.

Reasons Why a Parent Lose Custody of a Child

Examples of Parental Alienation

• A parent tells the child, “Your mom/dad doesn’t care about you. That’s why they missed your game,” even when it’s untrue.
• The child is repeatedly exposed to negative comments about one parent, fostering resentment.
• A parent encourages the child to choose sides, reinforcing loyalty to them and rejection of the other parent.

17 Signs of Parental Alienation

• The child expresses extreme negativity or hostility toward one parent without a valid reason.
• They may avoid contact, refuse visits, or act disrespectfully toward the targeted parent.
• The child feels pressured to choose sides, showing unwavering loyalty to the alienating parent.
• The child repeats accusations against the targeted parent that are inconsistent with their experiences.
• Constantly being angry whilst in your care
• Their language often mirrors the alienating parent’s words, indicating a lack of independent thought. They may even speak words that are beyond their age.
• Behavior that is 180 degrees to how they normally behave
• Spying on you
• Important information being withheld from you
• Refusing to obey
• Do not want to spend time with you
• The narcissist is perfect and you are suddenly garbage.
• The narcissist constantly contacting your kids whilst in your care
• Children fearing the other parent
• Children being love bombed
• Suddenly the other parent is doing everything to prove he/she is the parent of the century
• Your children relating circumstances that never happened the way they did but there is a twist in the story. A deliberate twist to smear you with your own children.
• Use of rewards or emotional validation by alienating parent to reinforce the child’s rejection behavior.
• Created obstacles for scheduled visits, such as planning conflicting activities.

Motivations/ Triggers Behind Parental Alienation

Parental alienation is often rooted in the emotional and psychological struggles of one parent during or after a separation. Here are what may trigger a parent to alienate a child from the other parent;

• One parent may harbor resentment toward the other, using the child as a tool for retaliation.
• Anxiety about losing the child’s love or the child choosing the other parent can lead to overcompensating by alienating the other parent.
• Seeing the child bond with the other parent might trigger feelings of inadequacy or rivalry, leading to alienation behaviors.
• A parent may alienate the child to sway custody decisions in their favor by demonstrating a “stronger bond” or claiming the other parent is unfit.
• Alienation is sometimes used to punish the other parent, undermining their role and creating dependency on the alienating parent.
• A parent who experienced abandonment or betrayal in their past may project those fears onto their child’s relationship with the other parent.
• Struggling with the emotional fallout of separation, a parent may inadvertently displace their frustrations onto the child-parent relationship.
• A parent with poor self-worth might seek validation by monopolizing the child’s love and loyalty.

In some Jurisdictions, Parental alienation is explicitly recognized as a harmful practice in family law, and courts may intervene to protect the child’s relationship with both parents while in others it is not formally defined but may be addressed under broader legal principles like “best interests of the child” or as part of psychological abuse.

How to Win a Termination of Parental Rights Case

Tips on Prioritizing the Child’s Emotional Health.

• Make decisions based on what is best for the child, not personal grievances.
• Support the child’s relationship with both parents to promote stability and emotional security.
• Create a safe space for the child to express their feelings without judgment.
• Avoid pressuring the child to take sides or choose between parents.
• Acknowledge the importance of the other parent in the child’s life, even if personal differences exist.
• Work together to maintain consistency in rules, routines, and discipline across households.

Final Thoughts on Signs of Parental Alienation

In some jurisdictions, parental alienation is considered a form of emotional or psychological abuse. If proven, it can influence custody decisions and potentially involve child welfare authorities.

While parental alienation can occur in the context of high-conflict separations, its impact extends beyond legal disputes—it affects the well-being and future relationships of the child.

If you suspect parental alienation in your family, take action early. Document behaviors, encourage open communication, and consult legal and therapeutic professionals to rebuild trust and repair relationships. Remember, every child deserves the love and support of both parents, free from undue influence or conflict.